Domestic Violence in Muslim Communities

Today as I read through the news I came across an article entitled, "Nazish Noorani, Domestic Abuse and American Muslims." This immediately caught my eye because the American Muslim population is an understudied population when it comes to issues related to violence within intimate relationships. As I read this article, I came to appreciate that it not only discussed resources, such as Turning Point for Women and Families, but that it attempted to break the dynamics of abuse down and additionally examine the components of intimate violence that might be not only specific to Muslim populations, but to faith-driven relationships of all denominations. For example, the article details that it takes on average 10 attempts at leaving before a woman finally leaves. Previously that number was 7 attempts. This rise in attempts demonstrates added elements that religion and culture play within intimate relationships, including or absent of violence. And, did you really just think about that. 10 attempts. This alone demonstrates that need for support women seeking exit from violence require. And, keep in mind that the research shows the most dangerous time for a woman in a violent relationship is as she leaves.

Furthermore, I appreciated that this article discussed the impact on children. When I teach Violence against Women and Girls, I spend quite a bit of time on this topic. Sometimes it seems adults forget how aware children really are.  While the statistics represented in the article are a bit different from the research I draw from, I think the commonality that everyone would agree on is that children are affected.

I've included a link below of an actual 911 police call made by a 6-year-old girl named Lisa (Nov 21, 1991).  While the audio in this video is extremely upsetting, the police report that upon arrival, the violence was actually rather minimal. What we have to remember, however, is that the perception of a child can be much different from that of an adult.

WARNING: This may be graphic and emotionally upsetting for some. If you choose not to hear the audio, you may read the transcript of the call by clicking here.

To listen to the 911 call, please click here. Note, there are parts of the tape that get quite loud. Be aware of the volume of your speakers.

When Lisa was found approximately 15 years later, she was in an abusive relationship herself. When she was pregnant with her second child, she reported that something snapped and she decided to get out of the relationship. She stated that she didn't want to end of like her mother.

So, this article was full of great things to think about. The impact on children, resources available specifically to the Muslim population, how religion impacts the experience of domestic violence and/or help-seeking behaviors. I highly recommend checking it out. Let me know what you think of the article and/or of the Lisa tape.

Lastly, since today brought up the intersection of religion with VAWG, I also found the following article on the Huffington Post. Check it out if you're interested: What Christians Need to Learn from Sl*twalks

India's SlutWalk

SlutWalk's have become a widely experienced global phenomenon. In fact, India has just had it's first SlutWalk in Delhi. Concerns in India were numerous as organizers attempted to prepare for Slutwalks. Concerns of indecency, the name "Slutwalk," and other possibilities concerned officials and members of the public alike. It has been reported that there were several differences noted when comparing this walk with those of other locations. Not only were participants unable to march as far as they were previously thought to be allowed, but the event was smaller and tamer, and security was heavy. Estimates believe there may have been 2 security for every 1 participant (including media).

Regardless of the differences, the message was the same. Ending sexual violence is absolutely necessary.

You can read more about the SlutWalk here, here and here.
Pictures can be viewed here.

Consent is Sexy: Slutwalk Denver 2011

It was amazing. Men, women, straight, gay, queer, old, young--all united for the same cause: fighting to end sexual assault.  I participated in both marches that were held. Cars honked in support, people clapped and I believe I even saw a few people join with us.  I took many many pictures. Take a look at a few:

Left sign: Things that cause rape: The outfit I'm wearing; Flirting; How much I'd had to drink; Rapists
Right sign: Consent is sexy

 "Don't tell me how to dress! Tell men not to rape!"

 I will teach my sons to respect sluts, that no means no, that not being able to talk/communicate means no

Wood does not equal should

Marching up Colfax in Denver, CO

So, as you can see, there were many different people with many different awesome messages. I took many, many pictures while at the event, so these are just some of them. And, just to note, I received consent from each person to take her/his picture.  Consent is sexy, right? Right!

Between the two marches that were held, keynote speaker Pamela White spoke.  Pamela has worked as a columnist & journalist for 19 years and was the first woman editor of 2 different Colorado newspapers and has largely focused on covering women’s issues, including sexual assault, intimate partner violence and women in prison. In 2010, White wrote Senate Bill 193, which became law on Jan. 1 of this year and which bans the use of shackles on inmates during labor and childbirth. White is the recipient of numerous state and national journalism awards, including the National Journalism Award for Public Service, the First Amendment Award, and the 2011 Keeper of the Flame Lifetime Achievement Award from Colorado SPJ for her body of work. She is a multi-published novelist and the single mother of two grown sons. Her talk was inspiring, honest, and empowering.   She ended her keynote address with the following tips (which accurately place blame in the right place):

!!! Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work !!!

1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.

2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.

3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.

4. If you are in a lift and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.

5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.

6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.

7. When you lurk in bushes and doorways with criminal intentions, always wear bright clothing, wave a flashlight, or play “Boys Who Rape (Should All Be Destroyed)” by the Raveonettes on a boombox really loud, so women in the vicinity will know where to aim their flamethrowers.

8. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.

9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape a woman, you can hand the whistle to your buddy, so s/he can blow it to call for help.

10. Give your buddy a revolver, so that when indifferent passers-by either ignore the rape whistle, or gather round to enjoy the spectacle, s/he can pistol-whip you.

11. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

So, the moral of the story is that the best way to prevent rape is to not rape anyone.  And, if rape or sexual assault in any form occurs, it is never the victim's fault. We must stop victim blaming and excusing behavior.  

SlutWalk Comes to Denver

Have you heard of Slutwalks? Do you know the goal? What do you think of the name? Will you participate and take a stand?

I've put a link on the side of the blog for the larger website for Slutwalks, but let me tell you a bit about them.

On January 24, 2011 a Canadian representative through the Toronto Police stated: "women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized." The problems with this statement, in my opinion, are multiple.  Not only does this statement scream "victim blaming!" (you know, when victims of crimes are held completely or partially responsible for the crimes against them--"she drank too much", "she was asking for it by the way she dressed", "she shouldn't have been walking alone at night"), but the use of the word 'slut' by an individual in a position of power representing an organization expected to serve and protect is highly problematic.

As a result of this statement and the implications it holds, individuals have joined together with the mission of spreading the word that those who experience sexual assault are not the ones at fault, ever.

Now, what is with the name? It certainly could turn some people off. But, when you find out the catalyst for these events, it seems to make more sense. Don't be nervous. Don't think you're not invited. These events, these Slutwalks, are for everyone. They are all-inclusive. Men, women, old, young--come one, come all. Dress as you'd like. Some participants purposely dress "provocatively," but this is not a mandate.

So, what do you think? Slutwalks have began to span the globe. We all can take a stand! Tomorrow (6/2/11) is Denver, CO Slutwalk. Check it out! You can find more info about the Denver walk on their facebook page here.